Our current culture is constantly giving a thumbs up to having a busy work life and a very active social presence both offline and online. It seems like being extremely busy has become aspirational, something that’s applauded rather than looked at with scepticism.There is a lot about this mindset that’s harmful and could well be the reason for increased cases of mental illness.

When we are so overcommitted the last thing we get to be is – alone. By alone, Imean–without checking our emails, without instant messaging or sharing anything on social media. With all the focus on prioritizing busyness and achievement, the similarly important benefits of spending time alone get thrown to the wayside.

Let me tell you why I highly recommend people to spend some time alone. Apart from the conventional benefits of unwinding, getting creative, improving productivity, it also gives us a chance to carve our own destiny–when spent CONSIOUSLY.

Try doing the following things when you are really alone the next time and do it consciously:

Watch your thoughts:

Though we all may nod in agreement to the fact that our thoughts decide the kind of life we live, yet, most of the time we are unconscious about the thoughts that keep our mind busy. What they are trying to convey? Where they are stemming from? Are they running in loop? Are they brimming with ideas or limiting us with self-doubts? The more we observe the more we could identify the pattern and the root cause of the thought process. We can then choose the thoughts that we want to nurture and weed out the ones that’s taking us down. We truly would feel empowered, when it dawns upon us that we have power over our thoughts and not the other way around.

Observe your habits:

The behaviour that’s on autopilot, is what makes us, and termed as habit. How aware are we about our habits? Every time we act in the same way, a specific neural pattern is stimulated and becomes strengthened in our brain. That specific behavioural pattern becomes our Habit. Now, if we are even the slightest bit aware of this, would we choose the negative habits that does more harm to us than good? Won’t we want to re-wire our pattern and overcome our self-limiting habits? The first step towards it would be, being aware of the negative habits and replace it with a newer desirable routine, until that becomes our second nature.

Identify what makes your happy:

I honestly feel, that every action of a human being is in the pursuit of happiness. Every thing that we do, we need, we aspire for, is to make ourselves happy. Yet the approach is very much outside in. We often give credit to external factors for the happiness in our lives. And hence disappointment is bound to creep in, when things don’t go the way we want them to. The sooner we realise that our happiness is our own business, the sooner we would want to know what really makes us happy. Otherwise what a vast majority of us are doing right now is, trying to live by someone else’s definition of happiness and feeling exactly the opposite, leading to unwarranted depression. So, its impertinent to know what truly make us happy, even when we are all alone.

Once we take charge of our thoughts and habits and identify what truly makes us happy, a huge transformation happens within us, where we are no longer a victim of the circumstance, but a valiant sailor in the rough sea. When this paradigm shift happens, we start carving our own destiny, we become a better version of ourselves and no longer ask “Why me” but in any situation, take the bull by its horns to say “Try Me”.