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Our current culture is constantly giving a thumbs up to having a busy work life and a very active social presence both offline and online. It seems like being extremely busy has become aspirational, something that’s applauded rather than looked at with scepticism.There is a lot about this mindset that’s harmful and could well be the reason for increased cases of mental illness.
When we are so overcommitted the last thing we get to be is – alone. By alone, Imean–without checking our emails, without instant messaging or sharing anything on social media. With all the focus on prioritizing busyness and achievement, the similarly important benefits of spending time alone get thrown to the wayside.
Let me tell you why I highly recommend people to spend some time alone. Apart from the conventional benefits of unwinding, getting creative, improving productivity, it also gives us a chance to carve our own destiny–when spent CONSIOUSLY.
Try doing the following things when you are really alone the next time and do it consciously:
Watch your thoughts:
Though we all may nod in agreement to the fact that our thoughts decide the kind of life we live, yet, most of the time we are unconscious about the thoughts that keep our mind busy. What they are trying to convey? Where they are stemming from? Are they running in loop? Are they brimming with ideas or limiting us with self-doubts? The more we observe the more we could identify the pattern and the root cause of the thought process. We can then choose the thoughts that we want to nurture and weed out the ones that’s taking us down. We truly would feel empowered, when it dawns upon us that we have power over our thoughts and not the other way around.
Observe your habits:
The behaviour that’s on autopilot, is what makes us, and termed as habit. How aware are we about our habits? Every time we act in the same way, a specific neural pattern is stimulated and becomes strengthened in our brain. That specific behavioural pattern becomes our Habit. Now, if we are even the slightest bit aware of this, would we choose the negative habits that does more harm to us than good? Won’t we want to re-wire our pattern and overcome our self-limiting habits? The first step towards it would be, being aware of the negative habits and replace it with a newer desirable routine, until that becomes our second nature.
Identify what makes your happy:
I honestly feel, that every action of a human being is in the pursuit of happiness. Every thing that we do, we need, we aspire for, is to make ourselves happy. Yet the approach is very much outside in. We often give credit to external factors for the happiness in our lives. And hence disappointment is bound to creep in, when things don’t go the way we want them to. The sooner we realise that our happiness is our own business, the sooner we would want to know what really makes us happy. Otherwise what a vast majority of us are doing right now is, trying to live by someone else’s definition of happiness and feeling exactly the opposite, leading to unwarranted depression. So, its impertinent to know what truly make us happy, even when we are all alone.
Once we take charge of our thoughts and habits and identify what truly makes us happy, a huge transformation happens within us, where we are no longer a victim of the circumstance, but a valiant sailor in the rough sea. When this paradigm shift happens, we start carving our own destiny, we become a better version of ourselves and no longer ask “Why me” but in any situation, take the bull by its horns to say “Try Me”.
“The art of communication is the language of Leadership” and what makes the communication inspiring & powerful is – Words, Stories and Metaphors.A great leader is the one who know that when he uses a certain word, a metaphor or a story, an average mind will associate it with a certain reference and a specific memory will be evoked. He uses this to his advantage to connect with his audience and motivate them to take desired action.
Words:
They make us laugh, they make us cry, they can wound us, or heal us. They offer us hope or devastation. With words we can make our noblest intentions felt and our deepest desires known.
What a gift these words are, we transform the unique shapes we call letters into a unique and rich tapestry of human experience. They provide us with a vehicle for expressing and sharing our experience with others and self.
The power of words is such, from a mother’s lullaby to a politician’s speech, love letters from a beloved, or a call for rebel, or any emotions for that matter like – anger, sadness, happiness, surprise, belonging, until It is expressed in a word, it will not have any meaning for us.
The words that we attach to our experience become our experience. So, if we want to change our lives and shape our destiny, we need to consciously select the words we’re going to and expand our choice of vocabulary. Because words form the thread on which we string our experiences.
Metaphors:
Some words when strungtogether carry more meaning and emotional intensity. Metaphors. What is a metaphor? Whenever we explain or communicate a concept by likening it to something else, we are using a metaphor. The two things may bear little actual resemblance to each other, but our familiarity to one allows us to gain an understanding of the other. Metaphors can create emotional intensity more quickly and completely than traditional words we use.
Metaphors can transform us; Metaphors can inspire us. Most of us, are identified with metaphors about various aspects like – Life (Life is like a book, life is a struggle), love (Love is a battlefield, Love is forever), Marriage, work, emotions etc etc. We subconsciously try to align our actions to fit into the metaphors we are identified with.
Metaphors have been used historically used to inspire people and call for action. Metaphors, that way is powerfulin determining and conditioning our belief system. A host of memories appear when you hear a metaphor. Some examples of famous metaphors – “We rise lifting others”, “one giant leap for mankind”, “Chaos is my friend”, “All world’s a stage”.
Stories:
Stories are as old as our civilisations. They’ve been travelling through centuries and historically influence men and women that have and will walk this world. They are the conveyer belt of language and culture, tradition and inheritance, cultural wealth accumulated over generations.
Stories have always played a crucial role in shaping the very way we think, the way we function. There are stories that warn us, that scare us, that preaches, that propagates and there are stories that make us forget out worries, stories that make us experience joy.
Every experiential story has the power to be a solution to some or other problem in the world. Stories has the power to change someone’s life without you meeting that person.
We have come a long way from living on instinct and that been possible because of our accumulated experience and knowledge being passed on from generations to generations in the form of words, metaphors and stories. If we didn’t have these, our advantage over the other species will slowly and gradually diminish over the time. Without the power of words, metaphors & stories, we would be right where we started. Love them and befriend them. Listen to them carefully and use them wisely.
TransforMe Learning is a globally focused leadership training and coaching company in Sydney. We provide leadership training, executive coaching, and team transformation to better prepare individuals and organisations for the future of work.
TransforMe Learning acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia. We pay our respects to Elders past and present.